Letter to nowhere – questions with no answers.
Your silence does not hurt me now… Does it mean, that I love you no more? Does it mean, that I became wiser, and that, as self-defence reaction because of too much pain gotten before, I became a stone hearted?
I am not crying since long time. Does it mean, that I am cold now? Or maybe it means, that I cried oceans, and my eyes became dry, and even when I want to cry, I just can’t?
You told me long time ago, that you knew, that you made a damage in me… So what, that you knew it? Should I suffer less because of that?
You told me – “Stop thinking about me. Stop hurting yourself”. My mind listened… but heart was duff. But if you knew, that there was no future for us, why would you play with my feelings? What kind of profit would you get from that game? My pain?
My friend told me, that we need balance between mind and heart in life. If we can’t get it, we won’t be happy, and our life won’t be complete. He didn’t tell me, how to find that balance.
There are a lot of questions. Mostly without answers. And even if we get answers, mostly it’ll be too late to safe anything. If anyway we get something, mostly it’ll be only precious knowledge. About our selves. About people. About life. But does that knowledge can make us happy?
I am not sad. Not at all. I just wish to know answers. But maybe I should stop making questions? Maybe I should stop thinking, and just catch a day?