I will be nobody’s property
Last days I realised something very clear. I can’t be Muslim wife. And it’s not because I am Christian, and I will always be. It’s because I know my value, and I wont let anybody to humiliate me in the name of creed.
Whole my life I had to care for myself, and for others. I was tired of this. I was fascinated Muslim world, where men are protecting women, and care for them and family. I didn’t want to see, that it’s not that kind of care, which I need. I need love, unconditional love. Not just care for personal property, for one from many possessions.
I wish to be loved, admired, respected and appreciated for who I am. Mean wise, intelligent, talented, sensible, loving and caring woman.
I am able to the biggest sacrifice for people, whom I love. I can even die for them. But I expect the same back. My friend called me in the past “woman with the biggest expectations”. But I’m never expecting more, than I am giving.
I wont let any man lie to me, cheat me, use me, betray me, humiliate me, just to keep him close. I prefer to be alone, than to live in relationship, where I’m not respected, where my needs, and my words mean nothing. And it’s about all men, no matter country, religion, colour of skin. In my job I met many women, victims of domestic violence. It happens everywhere.
Paolo Coelho wrote in “Alchemist”: “If somebody really loves you, he will let you live in agreement with your own legend”. I’m interested only in this kind of love. If somebody tries to change me by force, it wont be love then.
I’ll say, what I think, I’ll go, where I want to go, and I’ll do, what I wish to do. And I don’t need anybody’s permission to do so. I have my own brain, and I’ll use it for my goodness. I appreciate care, and good advices, and I’ll always listen to them, but I’ll make decisions by myself, because it’s my life. If freedom is equal with being alone, i’ll be alone.