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Time of growing

If all in life comes easily, how you’ll learn how to solve problems, when they will come? 

If all in life comes easily, what value it will have for you?

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I couldn’t say it better – experience is hard teacher

I am not the God… mean how to enjoy work.

I have that luck, that kids love me. And I have that luck, that people, who are paying me since almost 11 years are able to see that 🙂

Yesterday I was thinking about my work and kids, with whom I work. They are really amazing. Sometimes naughty and very noisy, but mostly sweet.

On the beginning, I didn’t like my work. It wasn’t, what I was dreaming about. I prefered to work with teenagers. I had great communication with them. I was a bit afraid of kids. Especially little ones. I was afraid, that I wont find a way to communicate with them. That I am to serious.

With time, and some courses of self perfection, I changed my point of view, and I started enjoying my work.
Before, very often, when I was coming back to home from work, I was terrible tired. But after those courses, I found my self smiling or even laughing on the way from work to home. I was laughing remembering, what funny kids did.

Sometimes I’m dieing from laugh with kids. For example, when in some play on command “on the horse”, when kids have to find another to jump fast like on the horse, one girl tried to jump on some small boy, and second was pulling his leg to make him jump on her. Poor boy 😉 And I learned to play with them. I’m laughing with them, when I make something funny.

Not always is nicely. I work with kids from pathological families, with problems in school, and with kids in their age. It’s not easy to teach them to solve problems peaceful way, to not show agression. To discuss points of views, not to argue using laud voice and humilitations. I’m always repeating them – “don’t do to others, what you don’t want to they do for you”. When some kid, who hurted before other kids but not right attitude, is coming to me to cry, becouse some other kids did the same for her/ him, I’m saying – It wasn’t nice, and she/he should say sorry, but now you feel, what they felt, when you were acting the same way. So don’t do that anymore. And you will see, that they will treat you also better”.

Many times, when I was strong in my decisions, some kids were crying and threatening me, that they wont come on my group anymore. It was, when they couldn’t get from me, what they wanted, when I didn’t take their side in some dispute. But they were always coming back. They know, that I am always trying to be justify and objective. And when I said – “you are not right, try to think peacefully, and you will see, that your attitude wasn’t nice and correct,” I had real reasons to say so.

When I was starting my work, I had to weak heart to act strong with kids. But soon I learned, that consequence is the best way of teaching them anything. Since the beginning kids know, that there are some limits, which I’ll never let them across. I can’t accept vulgar language, laud voice while discussing, lies, and 1st of all, they can’t hurt each other physically, and emotionally. I am able to close my eyes for many things, and let them to do almost all, but not across those limits.

I thought, that even if I lost my job, nobody will take from me, all great things, which I experienced. Kids love, changes in them made with my help. All joys, all experiences. It’s my profit, which nobody can’t take away from me.

I like watching effects of my work. Changes in kids, consolidation of group. But I learned also to accept fact, that not always we can get, what we planned. I am not the God. I am only human. My abilities are limited. Not always I can claim, what I want.

Fear of death.

Since almost all my life I was afraid of death. I couldn’t accept it, even I knew, that it’s a part of our life, and we can’t run from it.

Since some time I don’t feel this fear. I accepted fact, that I can die tomorrow or even after a while. That’s why I stopped fighting from silly reason, and I’m trying to have mind and heart free from bad things. I’m smiling, and I can feel happy because of small things. Even if I become angry sometimes, it will never last for long.

People say – live like tomorrow never comes. For me it doesn’t mean, that we should make fun all the time. For me it’s rather loving people, animals, nature. And cleaning mind from bad thoughts, and heart from bad feelings.

People say also – learn like you live for ever. I like learning alot. Especially about people, and from people.

I’m glad, that I met so many interesting people in my life. Not all of them were good. Some were even evil. But I learned alot from all of them.

I agree, that we are the sum of our experiences… but we can take knowledge also from other people experience. But we must to have ability of listening to others.

We should learn all life. Only death can be excuse. If I stop learning, it will mean, that I will be dead already. 😉

Have a nice Sunday people. All of you 🙂