Blog Archives

‘Set fire to the rain’ – difficult love

I noticed, regarding hundreds of views on previous song, that you like Adele. So now her next song – ‘Set fire to the rain’ with lyrics. She is new for me, but I like this song. About not easy love.

Sometimes we feel from the beginning, that some relationship doesn’t have any sense, but we can’t make it over, leave it, and forget it. And we are keeping hurting our selves. I still can’t understand, why people are so big masochists. I still can’t understand it, although I wasn’t different. Maybe it happens from desire of being loved. So big, that people are forgetting about dignity and self-respect, and they are able to the biggest sacrifices for love.

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About hurting. Mean who is who?

When I was at university, I was sad once, because I felt hurted by some man. I expected support from my best friend, but she said: ” Did you think ever, that you are hurting men?” No, I didn’t, that’s why I asked: “How I am hurting them? I’m trying to be nice mostly.” She answered:” You are hurting them by giving them hope, and then leaving.”

Yesterday somebody reminded me that old story. One of my best buddies called me egoistic, and cruel, because I was ignoring him since some time. Few days ago he offended me, and he was keeping doing that although I told him, that I felt hurted, and I wont forgive him this time. But he was mad at me, and he couldn’t stop himself.
I guessed, that he felt hurted by me. But instead of answer for my question – “What I did wrong?”, he was keeping offending me, and expecting, that I’ll read in his mind.

Yesterday I got offline messages from him on yahoo:
“- miss u
– but u r still cruel
– n i lov u still
– but u r still dumb
– but i lov u still
– u r a darling although u dun use ur brain n u r egoistic
– n i still lov u
– u r a darling buddy but u still dont understand
u r a typical women….
– but still i miss u”

It was really beautiful… and I felt really without brain, that I didn’t notice anything before. Mean I felt something, but I chose not see it.

I felt hurted many times, but the truth is, that I was giving hurts many times also. Many times subconsciously, but it doesn’t justify me. We don’t have to be rude to hurt. Sometimes it’s enough to be blind for somebody’s feelings.

Most of problems between men and women are lieing in problems in communication. When we feel hurted, mostly we are keeping pain inside, instead of saying straight, what’s going wrong. We are cumulating that pain, and we are keeping hurting each other. In the end mostly we even don’t remember why all that started, and who hurted who 1st.

Sometimes it’s really difficult to answer, who is a victim, and who is an aggressor? Mostly both in one. Mostly people, who are hurting others, are doing this because they felt hurted before. It’s really mad circle.

It doesn’t make any sense, because nobody can be a victor in that silly game. Everybody gets wounds. Really much better is talking straight, what’s going wrong. It’s not so easy sometimes, but not impossible. Sometimes good will from both sides is enough.

“If there is a good will, there is great way.” (Shakespeare) So try to say straight: ” I think…”, “I feel…”, I expect…” And life will become probably much easier.