It happened some time ago. I don’t know, why I thought about it right now. Maybe it’s “the proper time” to share that story.
Last eight years I was juror in court. Four years in criminal court, next four in family court. I didn’t apply for the next cadence. I was tired from watching all those mischievous people hurting own kids. I couldn’t sleep at nights. But time to time there were cases, thanks which I was getting back my faith in goodness of human nature. The story will be about one of those cases.
There was the young couple. They decided to adopt some child. They went through all process, qualification, the course for candidates for substitute parents, and they took new-born child from the hospital, whose mother decided to leave her (it was the girl). And finally they went to the court to become parents in law.
It was really pleasant to watch those young people happiness. Woman couldn’t have kids. Mean if she tried some treatment, she could have some own child, but her husband didn’t bother her with that idea. He loved her so much, that he cared for her more, than for having his own child. He loved her since childhood. He said: “I knew since childhood, that she’ll be my wife. “
Judge had to ask, why they decided to adopt a child, and was it full conscious decision? It was beautiful, what that young woman said: “When I was a child I decided, that if I have such possibility, I’ll adopt some child. My friend was taken to the Orphans House. Children shouldn’t live in such places. “
When judge asked, what will happen, if they get their own child. They both said the same: “That little girl is our child. She will be always our first child.”
Judge, me, and second juror, we all had wet eyes. All that was so beautiful.
After judge announced, that they are full parents now, they were so happy. Such moments are worth living. Not every day we can watch so real and beautiful love.
Thoughts are flowing in my mind. There is a big crowd there. I wish to express them better. Especially in English, which is not my native language.
I think about being honest with my self, what it means, and how much it can cost? I’m not living on a desert island, but in society. It has its rules. But how many compromises I can make to be still ME? And how much I can fight for being me to not become an outsider.
I made a list of priorities in my mind. The list of values, which I can’t resignate from, no matter what. And list of things, who are less important. It can change with age, and with getting life experience. The matter is, how I feel, when I make compromises. If I don’t feel comfortable, but like betraying myself , it’ll mean, that I went to far in compromising.
Caring for self comfort in being you doesn’t mean an egoism, but rather self-respect. Being, who you are not to please others can’t make you happy. Everybody has right to be happy, so you too.
Make compromises for people dear to you, but when they are ready to do the same for you. Don’t sell your self for nothing. If somebody loves you, he will let you live in agreement with your own legend. If not, why to please them?
Tell people dear to you about your desires, dreams, needs. Sometimes, they just don’t know, what can make you happy. If you keep silence, they’ll think, that all is fine. They laugh at what you say? Find somebody, who won’t. Simple! Don’t stay with somebody from fear of being lonely, because the worst kind of loneliness is that one in relationship.
I found it today by coincidence… I chose parts about relationships.
“While you’re busy looking for the perfect person, you’ll probably miss the imperfect person who could make you perfectly happy. This is as true for friendships as it is for intimate relationships. Finding a companion or a friend isn’t about trying to transform yourself into the perfect image of what you think they want. It’s about being exactly who you are and then finding someone who appreciates that.”
“Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason.”
You can read more here – http://marcandangel.com/2011/09/25/30-truths-ive-learned-in-30-years/